God never ceases to amaze me. :-) Over the last couple of weeks I have wondered what my purpose of being here is. Yes, to teach, but what other things does God have planned? How else can I serve and be a witness?? There are organizations and ministries that I could always join. Should I join any? I just started to feel...lost I guess. Then today happened!!! I had the most AMAZING question asked by one of my grade 2 students!! It took several tries by her and 5 other students before I understood the question, but it made it that much more special. She asked me "why did Jesus die for me?" I cannot express the joy and excitement that I felt at that moment!!! Not only was I getting to share with my students about God's love, but God was showing me that my purpose for being here has always been right in front of me. It is so easy to get distracted or start looking for God's purpose. I just have to remember to be patient and wait for His timing.
I have also been reminded of God's love over the last few weeks. His love of other nations, cultures, and people. Most of all I have been reminded of His love for me personally. I am in a culture where I am the exact opposite of what is considered "beautiful". In Thailand, the whiter your skin is, the better. I have learned that buying shower gel here is not wise due to the whitening components to them lol. I am also in a culture that sees anyone over a size 5 as "fat" or "big." These are just things that we wouldn't openly talk about to others as Americans, but there is no problem with it here. These are just things that are culturally different and hard to get used to. On top of all of that, I seriously stick out here!! It hasn't bothered me in the past, but oh man can I really tell here! LOL. Now I am not saying all of this in a tone of sadness or frustration or dislike of the Thai culture. It is just very different from the American culture. Satan has definitely used this opportunity to take my focus away from God's work and purpose for me in the self-esteem department. I have come to realize this and I know that it doesn't matter what others think of me. Even if I am not beautiful in other's eyes, I am beautiful in God's eyes. He created me exactly how He wanted me, and HE thinks that I am beautiful!! :-) There have definitely been some challenges emotionally over the past couple of weeks, but it just means that God is making me stronger as I overcome each one of them!!
On a brighter note....I am taking Thai language lessons!!!! Right now it is only once a week for 2 hrs (wish it was more) due to time constraints :-/. I am enjoying it SO much!!! I think that the hardest part of Thai language is the tones. They have 5 different tones!! So you could have the same word, but it may have different meanings depending on the tones that are used when saying it. During the first lesson, we had gotten over halfway through before I realized that the little marks above all of the words told you what tone to use! It was one of those funny "a ha!" moments :-). I have also taken the opportunity to practice little phrases here and there with my students. I asked my grade 6 group "do you understand?" in Thai, and I got in trouble for speaking Thai!! They are not allowed to speak in Thai in the classroom unless given permission and apparently that rule goes for me too!
All in all, my walk is strengthening daily as I look to God for daily guidance. I thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I promise that more pictures will come soon!!
"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." Zeph. 3:17
